This is a shout to my best friend. Among a few other people. And things, I suppose.
Now it’s hard to explain our friendship to other people for one (ignorant) reason. We’re both gay. You didn’t know two lesbians could be friends without screwing each other did you? Amazing, right. Don’t fret, I’m here to fill you in.
And before you ask, no we didn’t meet on a dating website. We met on Twitter actually. It was some time ago now, when I was running a competition via a website I used to run. She won, the rest is history. We had an initial lets-try-be-polite-and-civil coffee, before insulting each other daily. It has been like that ever since, and I wouldn’t change a thing.
The thing is, we’re so far in each other’s friend zones, that in all honesty, it would be like having sex with my sister. Now, if you don’t have a sister, let’s replace that sentence with ‘Mum’ and you’ll be making a disgusted face at your screen around now. Yep? Knew it.
And? What’s my point?
I’m here to tell you I’ve figured something out. Whether you know this already or not, I’m going to tell you again. I think we have different types of love. I like to think we feel love in a variety of ways. I’ll narrow them down for you.
- You know the way you look at a kebab on a night out? There’s one type.
- The way I love my best friend. How you click so well you just know how to cheer them up in an instant? That’s the best. I’ll be big headed and say I always know the solution when she’s down over some fuck girl.
- Your pet love. When you come home and their cute little face is so happy to see you. NOTHING IS BETTER THAN THAT (Although their look is similar to our number 1 ^)
- The relationship love. Okay I’m about to get soppy. I apologise (although not really). When it’s her smile you need to see to soothe your bad day, when you don’t even need to speak to enjoy each other’s company. The little memories and the moments. That kind of love. The kind you’ll never quite be able to explain in a Valentine’s card.
- The car kind. If you’re anything like me, my car is my baby. It’s where the best karaoke sessions happen and where drive through McDonald’s is the best meal ever when you’re dying for some nuggets.
- The lust love. We all have to experience those fuck ups I feel. When you feel like you’re in love and then realise you escaped a bear trap instead.
Now you’ve got to figure out which ones you’ve got to come.
Number 3, right? GO GET A DOG NOW. And maybe a McFlurry.