I tend to have this habit of remembering the strangest little moments when I least expect it. When I was with an ex of mine – FYI one of the craziest – I kept a few things from my best friend. Weirdly, this didn’t set off as many warning bells as it should have done. Until I came to my senses and ran a mile. Quite a few actually. Well, I drove them.
But anyway. Since then, I’ve shared all these now humorous details with said best friend. Who of course, laughs at my life like it is some sort of lesbian sitcom. So today my friends, I’m going to share one particular anecdote that did make me laugh.
“I kept those photos because I look hot in them.”
Now you’re wondering what the hell I’m on about, aren’t you? Ha. Well. An ex of mine had been with (many, many…) men before me, I was her first girl experience shall we say. So there were no women for me to compare myself against. One day I ask if she has any photos of her ex boyfriends, just out of curiosity as to what her man-type was. She points to maybe three/four separate photos stuck on her mirror and says, “that’s a guy I was kind of seeing… and that one… ”
Right. Okay then, that’s fine. But why did she still have photos up with her exes? Tiny bit odd I suppose, although it didn’t really bother me. Most lesbians have an Instagram full of conquests. Without me saying a word she justified it herself.
“I look pretty good. I kept those photos because I look hot in them.”
So, my friends. Yes, she really did strategically stick up those photos with the guys cropped out by an overlapping photograph because she thought she looked hot. So the next time I take a flattering selfie I’m going to print it out poster size and put it on my bedroom wall.